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Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Happy belated birthday to myself

I created a new blog again. Yup.. I forget my password again, plus, blogger insisted tat my email address does not exist, which, actually, i m not sure as well. So, i really really hope tat this is my last blog created for this year. HA-Di-HA.
Whoa.. Turning 16 was not as beseeching or relish as i used to think i might be. It's just another birthday of mine, tats for sure. However, it's just irreplaceable. I know tat sounds corny, but still. I mean, every one's birthday is just too meaningful to a person, just the way different, i think.
For my 16th birthday, i've made some resolutions. BIRTHDAY RESOLUTIONS. Hmm.. I was too coy to write all that out here, i guess i'll only write them out here when i finally success doing all that. It make me feel better, in a way.
I remember once i was so agog for the arrival of my sweet 16. For me, 16 is a pretty age, it's an age of prestigious. Well, not really true, but still it seems more mature, right? 15 and 16, isn't 16 sounds much older? Exactly.
However, come to think of it now, this idea is so cliche. I wonder who, when, where, what and how could i have this kinda thinking? Loony loony me. I couldn't say i am a mature person right now, but for sure, i m growing up everyday. Hopefully in Spiritual as well. HAha.. frankly, i maybe immature, but i definitely not childish. I am not a girl, but i am not yet an woman! So i am allowed to be naive! This is my right! As a teenager, perhaps. HAHA.. I certainly don't want to be haughty-xx-who-think-he/she-is-so-mature-but-apparently-just-a-16-year-old-with-
30-year-old-face. Blimey. At the beginning of this year, i felt so vanity inside. Misfit.. And despair. it's just too horrible. And i won't even wanna think of it again. And i promised myself i won't behave that way anymore, i won't repeat my mistake again, not even once. I am actually "gigundo" happy for the New me now. I feel good, i think positively, i even smell good!! HAHA..
I have to admit i was once a quite supercilious person in some way, so pompous that think myself as a hunky-dory and behaved imperiously, which, i was grateful that i realise that so soon. I don't want myself to be so obtrusive, so distaste. HA..
I was so pissed off with some so-called-friend who only enjoying themselves backstabbing others, and apparently are some two-head-snakes and something like that. Never mind, u all will be get back by someone else one day, and u all will know how is it taste like. It's certainly not sweet you know. And i won't get hurt by u all anymore, because, if i care, i am an idiot. YOu all have modicum of intelligence, that's why. Yeah, i understand that.
I am still who i am. I know it sounds corny, but still. it's pretty palpable that i am a happier person now, and i m glad of it. Somehow, i am still the sensitive old me. I still have tons of platonic dreams. Which, i always think are salubrious, for they keep on encouraging me, giving me hopes, make me feel that everyday is a wistful new day. And i even feel so sure that all of the fantasies of mine will come true one day. Well, just occasionally, not too often, of course. Adeline Yen-Mah also said:'' Please believe that one single positive dream is better than a thousands negative realities." Yeah.. Of course, i know that, thanks for writing that.
Lastly, HAppy belated birthday for me ya.